Red In The Face

"Do you know why this happens?" I point an accusatory finger at my near-purple face as I walk past the check-in desk after yoga.

The instructor shrugs. "It's just part of your constitution," she says warmly.

I make a face.

"It's part of your dosha - part of who you are," she continues, growing more serious at the realization that I perhaps do not appreciate my God-given dosha. "It probably means you're a fiery, passionate person with a type A personality who craves stability and control."

Now I'm uncomfortable. She's pegged me in 30 seconds.

"Does it have anything to do with why I sometimes get lightheaded in class?" I ask, to change the subject.

She nods, "It could."

"Is there anything I can do to lessen that?" 

She smiles, sensing my fiery dosha at work, attempting to correct this problem, all problems, until I am red in the face. "You can stand up more slowly," she says. "Or squeeze your butt."

"Squeeze..my butt?"

"Yes, squeeze your butt when you stand. It'll get blood flowing away from your brain."

I shrug, "Okay. I'll try that, thanks."

She gives me a gracious parting nod.

As I walk out to my car, I make a mental note: When red in the face, squeeze butt.

Could it really be that simple? Could it be that the solution to my control issues, the key to a less-fiery self was here in my butt all along? 

I sit in the driver's seat and try it a few times. My face bounces up and down in the rear view mirror. It makes me laugh, and then I contemplate the hilarity of flexed butts in general, and in my happiness I feel my red face begin to wane.

When red in the face, squeeze butt!

Alternatively, find a reason to laugh.