Some (Possibly Irrational) Fears About Moving To Utah

  • Lack of quality sushi (I don’t remember the last time I ate sushi)

  • People calling it “Cali”

  • I’ve sort of wanted to dye my hair super blond again but now I can’t because practically everyone is fake blond there and I can’t be another fake blond

  • The obnoxious contrarianism that bubbles up in me whenever I am in Utah (see previous bullet)

  • I’ve been so much thinner since I moved away. Will my face get chubby again? Is it Mom’s dinner rolls?

  • Snow in April I mean really

  • Running into people I kind of know and having to decide whether to say hello or not

  • What if my Bishop supports Donald Trump?

  • The Real Housewives of Draper (I don’t totally know what I mean here but you know what I mean, right?)

  • Only one freeway!

  • Having to explain why we don’t have kids. Not that people ask, but they always want to know.