14 Questions I Now Know To Ask When Apartment Hunting In California

I sincerely mean this to be a helpful and practical guide for those in need.

  1. Is the refrigerator included?

  2. Is there a dishwasher? (sometimes you assume, and then move in, and then there isn’t)

  3. Are there ceiling lights? (sometimes you assume, and then have to live in semi-darkness)

  4. Is the water pressure in the shower akin to someone gently pouring a cup of water onto my head?

  5. At night, will there be a street light that shines directly in our bedroom window?

  6. How much does a load of laundry cost?

  7. Has someone died in this apartment?

  8. What, exactly, is a flour beetle?

    8a: And also a silverfish?

  9. Are there rabid raccoons that like to brawl outside my window at night?

  10. How many minutes will it take to walk from our parking spot to my door?

  11. Will the pool be under construction for the duration of my stay here?

  12. Has anyone burned down one of the buildings because they were growing marijuana?

  13. Are there plans to cut down all the surrounding trees so it becomes scorchingly hot during the afternoons?

  14. Are there plans to suddenly sell the unit so we have to move?

    We moved this weekend because of number 14. I’m really sad about it. Think I’ll dump some flour beetles in our final rent check.