Body Confidence

For a long time I struggled with body confidence because I was basing it on what my body looked like, and my body did not look like I perceived it should.

When I got into yoga, I switched metrics and started basing confidence on what my body could do. I'm not talking about handstands (still can't do those) but more the feeling of growth, and knowing my body is stronger today than it was yesterday. It felt healthy to base my relationship with my body on what it was capable of rather than what it looked like.

But now my body is incapable. It's not doing the thing it is supposed to be doing, the thing a female body is uniquely designed to do, and I'm back to not knowing how to feel about my body, or even how to measure how to feel about it.

A little voice in me says, "be grateful for your body! that it even breathes is a miracle!" This voice has a good point, and I would like to be convinced by it. But a much louder voice tells me my body is a thing to be measured, and in so many ways measuring is easier because it is tangible. Numbers and sizes and poses are facts. A pregnant body is pretty hard to miss. But grace and gratitude are intangible and I have never known how to see them as being as important as numbers or facts.