I went to a baby shower for one of my cousins this week. It is so baffling to see my cousins with their daughters, because their daughters are no longer just daughters but practically grown women.

It doesn't make me bitter or upset but the fact cannot be ignored: in the race of childbearing, they passed me like I was standing still.

As I sat there with my family, feeling so separate from them, I couldn't help but wonder - how much do I want to be a mom, and how much do I just feel left out?