Bodily Woes By Age

0-10: Bliss

11: Sad about braces. Someone at school tells me they are "cute." I am not fooled.

12: Excited about boobs!

14: Dismayed I can no longer eat whatever I want. Am unconvinced when Mother tries to tell me, "no one else knows what size your jeans are." They know. They must know. 

15: Pleased to discover the gym and that I like it there. 

18: Bummed the freshmen 15 is not a myth. Swear all I charge to my Dining Plus are L&T wraps, and yet lurking in the corners of memory is the nightly 3AM kettle corn we eat on our dorm room floor because Facebook has just become a thing and now we know everyone is hanging out without us. 

24: Moves to LA! Learns to like salads! Becomes a real girl!

25: Magically loses pudginess, yet sad at the realization the pudginess was Mom's homemade rolls plus jam. 

26: Smitten by yoga. Feeling strong. And yet, still cannot do handstands or even crow pose, nor pull off the sports bra w/ yoga pants look. 

29: Betrayed by uterus.