It’s the Most Wonderful Time Of The Year and tragedy is all around me.
Each time I get online it seems there’s another blow, another GoFundMe account for another friend’s hellish circumstance that leaves me sick. I find myself naively wondering, have things gotten worse? Do I just know more? Is this growing up?
Can I go about my season of joy knowing so many are suffering? Trickier - can I feel sad or stressed about parts of my life when others suffer more?
I find myself fleeing to my yoga mat, which I fret will sound first-world, but I think I go because it is a space to practice duality. Inhale and exhale. Comfort in discomfort. Holding still in a pose while activating every muscle in my body.
Over and over life has tried to teach me it is not a linear journey from bad to good, crowned with one final happy ending. It’s up and down, sometimes at once. It’s gratitude amidst heartache. Finding a way to hold my joy and yours, my sorrow as well as yours, without giving into the urge to compare them or name one of us winner.
But I wonder if I will ever fully learn it. If I will ever stop hoping for that easier turn in my or your story - the deus ex machina where Dumbledore is here! Gandalf is here! Some Santa Claus is finally here, and the good guys, the chosen people will be plucked from our peril after all.