Today I walked (walked!) twenty minutes to the movie theater and saw a 3 PM movie by myself.
It's been three weeks of funemployment, and the "hey cool, some free time between gigs!" has become more like "who am I and what is the meaning of life?" I needed to get out of the house, I needed to stop thinking.
But then the whole mile-long walk I couldn't stop worrying, is someone I know going to see me walking alone, and know I’m going to a movie by myself in the middle of the day? Is this the day I am exposed for the loser I truly am??
And then I finally arrived at Edwards Cinema and bought movie treats and watched The Greatest Showman with three women I imagine to be named Ethel, Louise, and Marjorie. And on the walk home I dared every passing car to know I had walked to the movies alone. Let them know! I taunted. Let them call me a loser! I strutted with my parade of imaginary backup dancers, belting silently - I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I'm meant to be, THIS IS ME!